Visibility

Are you one of these people who sometimes desires to be invisible to others, and it appears that way, but when you want to be visible again, it feels as if nobody can focus on you, nobody takes notice of you even though you want to be seen. You make a fuss like other people do, but it's as if you're not there.

With this new blog, I want to experiment with visibility; how I can get other people to notice me and what I'm doing, try to blog more regularly and try to talk about interesting things.

Anyway, how do I feel invisible? Well, it's as if you're on public transport, being surrounded by people who see you, but as just some guy. They don't want to interact with you because you're not someone they know. But it's like all...the...time, even when you're in a social environment. I discount workplaces from this, since they are environments where people are forced to interact with others. If they're a friend from work, but don't talk to you outside of work, are they really a friend?

Social environments, like going to the pub or a restaurant with people you know, are tricky. I generally like being around people, but when I'm with a group of people at a table, the following thing happens. I try to sit in the centre so I can be involved, and try to get involved with conversations, but two distinct groups happen either side of me, sometimes they turn so I find it difficult to find out what's going on. I'll try to listen and get in on the discussion, but they look at me as if I don't belong, drown me out by butting in and talking over me (I sometimes have a bad stutter, and I'm conditioned to shut up if , or ignore me from the flow of conversation. I end up being stuck with nobody to talk to, nobody asks me anything and it's as if there may as well be an empty seat where I'm sitting. Luckily I can't afford to go out all the time (at all, really) so this doesn't happen a lot.

This is what I like about interacting online, it's far less cliquey. I can't get interrupted when I'm trying to say something, and an online persona can't sneer if I'm typing something, if they want to type at the same time too. I can say, this is me, and this is what I think. It'll probably get ignored, but at least I can still get something across. Sometimes I do get an answer and I can have a short conversation about it. I guess this is one of the reasons why I try to be humourous sometimes, just to see if I can get someone's attention.

Anyway, let's see where this goes.

New blog

I've decided to start afresh with my blogging, as my old site got clagged up with half-written drafts, wasn't updated enough and blah blah blah usual bad habits, must do better and all that. I've got to make a promise to myself to express myself more regularly and well, here we go.

If you want to, and please do, have a read of my old blog here. There are some interesting bits in there in places, so check them out. I'll sometimes refer to the best bits from this here blog here and that.

Lots of love

Luke